 Thursday, January 14, 2010 2010 has been ushered in. How unremarkable. Nashran whined @» Thursday, December 10, 2009 Sometimes I look around and take stock of my life. It usually worries me as to how little indications there are to how well I'm doing. In school you go by your results, your popularity, etc. There are all these markers and milestones to indicate whether you're doing fine. In life you don't have such a luxury. I don't know if I'm screwing up as a brother. That's what bugs me. I look at my siblings and I'm filled with this gnawing doubt, is what I'm doing enough? Can I do more? Should I do more? I worry that their going through things that might be life changing and I'm sitting there oblivious to it all. To top it off, there's my grandmother...I am so paralyzed with the realization on how frail she has become. My grandmother has always been a formidable woman, every time I look at her now... it pains me that she has to suffer the indignity of being looked after. I think I got my independent spirit from her. When I was young I had this fear of the dark, and every night I'd crawl into her bed. She'd just hold me until I sleep and next morning I'd wake up in my bed. To be young and without responsibility... Nashran whined @» Saturday, December 05, 2009 Lesson I leant Nice people are not necessarily honest people. I've met people who were nice but completely lacking in moral integrity. Which leads to the question which would you prefer? Someone nice or some truthful? decisions, decisions. Nashran whined @» Thursday, December 03, 2009 Homophobia has it's victims. While listening to someone preacing against homosexuality, I thought to myself, "It's easy for him to say those empty words, maybe if we put a face on who his ranting against..." I am the guy who got kicked out of his home because I confided in my mother that I am gay. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the receptionist hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. We are not some faceless mob you can blindly hate. We are human, we have contributed to society, and enriched it. We have feelings, hopes, fears, ideals. All we're asking for is to be treated like a human being Nashran whined @» Friday, November 27, 2009 Lady Kaikai's: A series of stupid patients (Part 5) Today our favourite nurse was triage. At triage one sees all kinds of rubbish, mostly NS boys trying to wheedle an MC out of the hospital. Some get it, some don't. At any rate after a string of body aches, swollen limbs, chest pain and general unwellness Lady Kaikai called in Random Patient E (RPE) RPE was 50-ish Chinese man in a hideous red hawaiin shirt and khaki shorts. Me: Good morning Sir, I'm Nurse Kaikai. May I find out how we can help you today? RPE: I just only got married, last night-arh while trying to have sex, I cannot ejaculate. ME: I see...Do you have any drug allergies or past medical history? RPE: No..Eh..I want to see normal doctor hor. Don't want the emergency doctor. ME: Mr RPE, I'm sorry but all our doctors are emergency doctors. RPE: My thing not emergency leh, I don't want to pay so much. Normal doctor enough lah ME: We don't have normal doctors, all our doctors abnormal. RPE: Normal doctor must pay $75?! ME: Sir, the $75 is for consultation, standard investigations and treatment. All our doctors are emergency trained. RPE: I don't want to pay so much leh... Me: Then may I suggest that you go to a polyclinic and get an appt to see the uro doctor. It'll be alot cheaper. RPE: Do I still have to pay? ME : Nope. RPE : orh.ok. thank you ah missy. As soon as the patient left Lady Kaikai collapsed onto the floor laughing Nashran whined @» Sunday, November 22, 2009 Lady Kaikai's : A series of stupid patients (Part 4) Random patient D (RPD) was a young man (stupid NS boy) who felt weak and sick, he was on a wheelchair as he couldn't walk by himself and needed his wife to push him around. Our favourite nurse was preparing the medication for RPD when - RPD : Nurse!!! very hot ah nurse! Me: Ok Mr RPD I will increase the setting on the fan for you. -sets fan to a higher speed and turns the heavy industrial fan so that it faces the patient directly- Me: Is that better sir? RPD: Still hot...Can I have a blanket? Me: Ok...-gives him the blanket- (What kind of idiot asks for a blanket when it's hot) Lady Kaikai continues to prepare the medication and was serving it to him. RPD then started whining again RPD: I cannot take pills. Later I vomit. Me: Mr RPD this is Panadol, it's supposed to help with your fever. RPD: I don't want! I don't want! Lady Kaikai then walks of to inform the doctor who insisted on the medicaton being taken. {The idiot man expects me force feed him I suppose} Needless to say the patient stubbornly refused the medicine again. He then got up and walked out of the dept {Yes ladies and gentlemen, he miraculously felt well enough to get up and walk by himself! This is a sign of god's favour!}. Sadly Lady Kaikai had to chase after the goon and try to coax him back into the clinic. RPD: I want to go home! I don't known what I'm waiting for! I'm very sick and nobody attended to me! I want to lie down! -turns to wife and scolds her in malay- This is all your fault! I told you should have just stayed home! Me: Sir, try to calm down. If you want to go home at least allow me to remove your i/v plug. RPD: Don't want! I can pull out myself when I get home! Me: Sir, if you leave with that, I'm afraid I have to make a police report. RPD: oh...ok lah... Lady Kaikai then informs the doctor who cancelled all investigations that were pending and discharges the patient. Nashran whined @» Monday, November 02, 2009 I hate drunkards. I hate dealing with them. Whiney, obnoxious, self-absorbed, pissant, thing. Everytime I'm in the observation room I always seem to have to deal with one or two of them. Some drunkard who was found unconscious, brought in by the SCDF, and dumped into my room with the instruction, "observe till sober". I wish I could just wheel them out to the middle of the street and leave them there. Thankfully some of them just sleep quietly, but there are those who are noisy, demanding and stupid. It fills me with disgust to look at them. All thoughts of comapssion and concern are driven away by their foul manners. With that being said, I am sadly wiser than i used to be and I know theres a lesson in it. Something in this pattern is important enough for me to learn that God/ Source/whatever is repeating it over and over again. So untill I figure it out, I have to deal with these sorry excuses for men over and over again. Funny thing, their always men. Grrrr.... Nashran whined @» Friday, September 25, 2009 I watched one episode of Singapore Idol and I can't say I'm impressed. The judges declared that they were gonna be more honest, but what I saw was simply plain bitching. None of the feedback was constructive, or even the remotest bit helpful. Ken, in his attempt to mimic Simon Cowell, just came across as pretentious. And his comment about the Vasantham Star was just disgraceful. Tsk... Nashran whined @» Friday, September 18, 2009 Recently, at a friend's birthday dinner, somebody queried into the availability of my uncle into doing a particular job. My uncle, you see, was a well practiced "bomoh," been doing his craft for years and thought me bits and pieces of it as well. My friend was looking for someone like that to "do the dirty" for someone who has been cheated of money. I was reluctant to bring the attention up to him for various reasons, but as I learned on wednesday night...there was no need to. He called me out of the blue, to ask "how the family was doing". Yeah Right. Needless to say I didn't mention the job and he knew I was holding something back. He knew through some mystical, sympathetic connection through our familial blood etc. Whatever the case, I was greeted in the middle of the night with his personal "toyol" grrr....horrendous thing. Thankfully I sent it back to him inclusive of the army of little imps he sent over.....odious man. I had to book a damn hotel room to find a nice quiet place to do the damn ritual....$90 wasted...bleagh. Nashran whined @» Tuesday, September 08, 2009 I am sooo addicted to the damn Wondergirls song...need to stop. Haven't had much time to post anything here lately...i sort of miss it. Even when i do post anything their usually rants against stupid patients... I feel so bad. If only patients were more reasonable in their demands. Nashran whined @» Thursday, August 20, 2009 http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=82058 Go look and mock this idiot for me. I couldn't stop laughing when I read this post. oh the inanity... Nashran whined @» Saturday, July 18, 2009 Lady Kaikai's : A series of stupid patients ( Part 3 ) The scene opens with our favourite nurse doing triaging at night, the clock ticks quietly, showing anyone who looks at it that it is now 1:45am, of course anyone still awake to look at it is obviously of unsound mind. Who else is awake at such an ungodly hour? Me : Good evening Random Patient C (RPC), what happened to you today? RPC : Yesterday I have a fever, I went to the GP but until now I'm still sick. Me : When exactly did you go to the GP? RPC : Oh! just this morning. Me : Did you complete the medication given to you by your GP? RPC : No, I think they're not working, morning I went and now I'm still sick. Thats why I come here. Me : I see, here's your queu number, have a seat outside the doctor will see you when he can. RPC was seen and discharged in a little over an hour. All this time the clock continues to silently tick off the time, at 6am, our favourite nurse is seen cleaning and topping up the area for the next shift to take over. Suddenly RPC comes back and rgisters as a patient again. Me : sir? why are you back here again? RPC : The doctor give medicine never work! I eat and now I'm still sick! Me : Sir the medication needs time to take effect. You were just discharged barely 4 hours ago. RPC : But I was sick since yesterday! Enough time what! Me : Sir, a fever requires a few days to run its course, there is no miracle medicine that instantly cures you when you take it. You need to be patient. RPC : A few days is how long? I was sick for 2 days already, not long enough meh? You all don't have some injection to make me better is it? Me : Sadly sir, there is no medicine in the world to make you a better person. RPC : Aiyah, you nurse, you don't know one! Let me see the doctor. Sure have. Me : (-_-) As you wish... RPC saw the doctor who more or less repeated the words of Lady Kaikai, he left the area unhappy and filled with malcontent. His obtuse mind tried very hard to rationalise and process what was said to him, but as a species used to instant gratification, the concept of waiting for something is just to alien for the neanderthal man to fathom. RPC : I go GH! The doctors there sure more skill! Lady Kaikai can only shake her head at the money and time the buffoon was willing to waste. Nashran whined @» Friday, July 10, 2009 I am begining to question whether all this is worth it... Nashran whined @» Thursday, July 02, 2009 Lady Kaikai's : A series of stupid patients (part 2) Random Patient B (RPB) : I must see the doctor now! I'm very sick. Me : What happened to you sir? What can I do to help? RPB : I'm sick! I told you! Ask the doctor to see me first. Me : I get that you're sick, but what exactly is wrong? RPB : I am unwell! I'm going to die soon! Faster let me see the doctor. Me: I know you're unwell - RPB : Then why you keep on asking?! You stupid is it?! Me : (-_-) please register at counter 25 and the doctor will see you soon. Soon was an understatement. Nashran whined @» Thursday, June 25, 2009 Lady Kaikai's : A series of stupid patients (part 1) Me: Good morning random patient A (RPA), what brings you to our hospital today? RPA : Oh, I just came back from Australia and I'm concerned that I might have caught the H1N1 flu. Me: Do you have a fever, or any other flu like symptoms? RPA: No, but I just came back from Australia you see and I'm worried I might have caught the bug. Can I be admitted to be safe? Me: erm....How long ago did you come back from Australia? RPA: I've been back for 2 weeks now. Me: Sir ( you overgrown baboon) the window period is usually 7 days, if you haven't caught anything by now, chances are you didn't catch it in Australia. RPA: No, no, no! I insist that I be quarantined, I might be in the phase where the bug is latent within me! How can you as a nurse not isolate me? Where is your social responsibility? Me: (what a complete idiot) So you want to be isolated? -evil smile- If you insist then. RPA: I do! I do! I am greatly concerned about being a risk to my fellow citizens! Me: -calls for an escort to bring RPA to the fever area.- I hope you enjoy yourself. I have it on good authority he didn't.. Nashran whined @» Friday, June 19, 2009 I met someone for breakast today. It's nice to meet old friends. Even better was how despite the length of years that has elapsed we just comfortably fell into this comfortable rapport that we've always enjoyed. I met someone for lunch today. It was interesting to meet up with an aquaintance. Even more amusing was his clumsy attempts to come off as debonair. I admit it was a good attempt, I'll give him points for effort...but still an act is still an act. What really cracked me up was when he used the word "elite" to describe himself. I met someone I didn't particularly like for dinner today. It was an annoyance which courtesy forced me to endure. Hopefully I will never have to do so again. Nashran whined @» Thursday, June 11, 2009 I sat and I wondered. I wondered what on earth am I doing. I realized I don't know. Nashran whined @» Friday, May 15, 2009 So a few names were submitted in a bid to be NMPs, but 3 names in particular were openly criticized. Why? They were gay-friendly. Nevermind what they've done, their gay friendly and as such are unfit to be elected as NMPs. Let us ignore their credentials, their impressive portfolios, and their zeal in wishing to serve their country, their gay activist and as such should be put down. Singapore is a meritocratic country, except when you're gay or gay friendly. I would be horrified, but reading some of the criticisms posted up I realized the most of the authors weren't exactly intelligent...or if they were they decided to shut their brains down... So no biggie. Nashran whined @» Thursday, April 30, 2009 I am so tempted to say something here about the AWARE saga. Given the scandal that surrounds some of the new Exco members, I have plenty of fodder to shoot my moutht off. Unfortunately, I firmly believe that AWARE needs no meddling by men to save them, so I shall hold my tongue untill I feel like bursting. Although I really have to say this; "feminist mentor" indeed. Phaugh, how pretentious can you get? Nashran whined @» so I spent some time re-evaluating the friends I had. I realized some people are just insincere. I mean their nice, but it's more of a courtesy than a "I'm your friend" nice. here's the gist of an msn conversation I had with one of those people me: I have problems, my work sucks, show some sympathy delusional man : I'm a good listener, you can tell me anything, my friends tell I'm a very sympathetic person. me: Yes, my leave got burnt and I'm stuck with plent of OTs delusional man: Tell me your problems, I'm willing to listen and give a supportive shoulder. me: I just did delusional man: -says nothing- best friend consideration - FAIL! I also realized those I call close friends/best friends/bosom buddies/whatever you call it, were very well picked. I am such a good judge of character. I be talking about you and gang Techu. =P Nashran whined @» Wednesday, April 15, 2009 Dildo's One of man's greatest invention, second only to plumbing. I have no idea what I'd do without a dildo... HAHAHAHAHAHA I was at an event recently which showcased how cretinous the typical singaporean is. tsk tsk. Nashran whined @» Monday, April 13, 2009 pet peeves 1) Idiots who whine on and on about the inane things other people put up on their blogs, when their's is really no better. 2) Drunkards...I firmly believe all drunkards should be shot. 3) People who call me and then put down instantly hoping I'll call them back. Stupid things like that, I ignore. 4) The stupid, brainless, vapid reality shows that can come up. "S" factor being the most current example...talk about floozy... 5) Pretentious pricks, who consider themselves "academic". I cannot believe the number of people I know who would actually use this word to describe themselves...I don't know whether to laugh or barf. 6) That pretentious, backstabbing, cocksucking, asskissing,retard of a man...you know damn well who you are. I have never, ever felt so much hatred or anger in my life. As you can see, it hasn't been a good day. I'll leave you to wonder what happened, and/or gloat about how much better your life is. Nashran whined @» Monday, March 30, 2009 I have this sense of mental dullness... I agonised for 10 min trying to do a simple calculation to set my i/v infusion... worse still was the time I spent trin to decide which hand was the right hand... This hebetude has got to stop... Dear God, Help me turn on my brain again, I'm sorry I switched it off for 2 years in the army...but I'd thought it would be a good rest. It's not like I was doing anything mentally challenging then, but I need it to work now...I don't want to kill anyone out of stupidity... Nashran whined @» Thursday, March 26, 2009 Endorphins are good, endorphins are good... ignore your expanding ass and focus on the warm fuzzy feeling the b&j ice cream is giving you. Nashran whined @» Monday, March 23, 2009 I feel exhausted... There is a silence in me that seems to translate itself to my writing. I am disinclined to write for now. I shall take a hiatus. How long? I don't know, long enough to find my soul's voice. Nashran whined @» Saturday, March 14, 2009 Today I learned something. The lesson has helped me to put down a love I've been carrying for months now. It's been a fruitful day. =) Also please view my deviant art site. i'm trying to write again, so I could use all the feedback to get better. You can just click here One more thing. J**, I think you're an immature brat. =P I love you plenty, but I still think you're an immature brat. The best cure for an immature brat is a spanking. Shall I? Nashran whined @» Sunday, March 01, 2009 I stupidly bought the new SMRT EZ-link card recently. That thing is is horrid. I have no idea why it would read as no value when I have $3.00 left, that's enough for 2 miserable trips. Tsk. I suppose SMRT was focused on ways to save money for their overstuffed pockets without thinking of the convenience of their customers. Pity that it's the only company operating the MRT service. It's doing an abyssmal job but we're stuck with it. I hate monopolies. Nashran whined @» Monday, February 23, 2009 Beauty Files, a show that reinforces the modern day stereotype that skinny is beautiful. Thats exactly what the world needs, another voice encouraging people to starve themselves and puke out everything they've eaten. Shallow, vapid, witless. The things people do for money, capitalist dog Nashran whined @» Wednesday, February 18, 2009 Silence. My mind spins with thoughts that refuse to be articulated. I sit staring at this screen wondering how to communicate my thoughts to the faceless masses that read my blog. I am bereft of words, my barren brains flits from one random thought to another, never focusing on anything long enough for it to register onto my consciousness. My vaunted intellect has dwindled to a mere glimmer of its former self. I am uninspired. Nashran whined @» Friday, February 13, 2009 Is he worth it? No. Can I be bothered? No. Is he sincere? No. So why am I in pain.... Nashran whined @» Tuesday, February 10, 2009 Today, I feel oddly sad. I was thinking back of those I have loved and while I have plenty to say about the subject, I think Neruda sums up my feelings nicely. So I shall do you cretins a favour and introduce you to a writer who is profound but not pretentious. A sublime writer and one of my favourites. I can write the saddest lines tonight. Write for example: ‘The night is fractured and they shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance’ The night wind turns in the sky and sings. I can write the saddest lines tonight. I loved her, sometimes she loved me too. On nights like these I held her in my arms. I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky. She loved me, sometimes I loved her too. How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes. I can write the saddest lines tonight. To think I don’t have her, to feel I have lost her. Hear the vast night, vaster without her. Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass. What does it matter that I couldn’t keep her. The night is fractured and she is not with me. That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,my soul is not content to have lost her. As though to reach her, my sight looks for her. My heart looks for her: she is not with me The same night whitens, in the same branches. We, from that time, we are not the same. I don’t love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her. My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her. Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses. Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes. I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her. Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long. Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms, my soul is not content to have lost her. Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer, and these are the last lines I will write for her. -Pablo Neruda Nashran whined @» Monday, February 09, 2009 I followed a friend recently as he/she was house hunting, I must say the newer houses in Singapore have all failed to impress me. They were so tiny...It was designed with such functionality I wonder if the person who designed it is even human. The kitchen, the area I feel is the most imporant in a household, is so small and spare. One person could barely fit into it, let alone a family trying to cook together. It's obvious whoever it was who designed the new HDB flats is not someone with any ability to emphatise. Probably some idiot with less than mediocre talent, but who has had the luck to have everything handed to him when he was younger, leaving him with this inability to emphasize with the common man. Hence leading to houses that are sub standard and not fit for human habitation. Seriously why not just dig a grave and tell people to live there. While I understand the need to save space in Singapore, I seriously believe making everyone's house proportionate to a chicken coop is not the answer. The horrors of that tiny kitchen... I cannot imagine cooking in a kitchen so tiny I could barely turn around in it. This is why people leave this country, because the kitchens in the house are not conducive to a family environment. The kitchen is an integral part of the home, it is it's heart, the place where the members of the household is fed. A good kitchen feeds it's family, physically and spiritually. It supports the family's growth and its health. When you're kitchen is a tiny hole that was done as an afterthought, you should shoot the designer of you'e house and get it redone, because a hungry family is an angry family. the kitchen is the family's communal centre, where the more domestic members gather to cook and where the whole family gather to eat. Everybody goes there. It's important. Another horrifying fact, the price of the overglorified chicken coop. Tsk, disgraceful. Nashran whined @» Sunday, February 08, 2009 I want my watch... On a side note, why do people try so, so hard to sound articulate, and refined. Tsk Merchants. Can't stand them. Nashran whined @» Tuesday, February 03, 2009 I have something I'd like to say, but i feel stifled by conventions, niceties, common courtesy. Haiz... Seems I'll just keep quiet. Nashran whined @» Saturday, January 31, 2009 Consevative behviour This excuse has been thrown up again and again as a defence for some perverse status quo that society has a guilty kick from. When the Confederates wanted to keep their slaves, they cited "conservative behaviour" When Susan B Anthony campaigned for Women's Suffrage, she was rejected on the gounds of conservative behaviour. When gay people fought for their right to equality, they were opposed on the grounds of conservative behaviour. It's like society has a need to keep certain groups of people down so they can look at these people and be assured that their life isn't as bad as that. Conservative behaviour, Society's excuse for schadenfreude. Nashran whined @» Wednesday, January 28, 2009 AGGHHH!!!!! I can't stand it! This whole goody goody innocent straight boy act is killing me! I need to terrify some insipid, insecure straight man soon or i'll go mad... I hate pretending to be straight. Nashran whined @» Tuesday, January 27, 2009 Courtesy is probably the most basic and fundamental thing that governs human interaction. Like all basics, it's probably the most important aspect of human interaction. Like all basics its more or less ignored. Tsk tsk Nashran whined @» Sunday, January 25, 2009 I am sick of people who tell me my dad's name serves as my surname. Such ignorance and ethnocentricity is unbecoming in a cosmopolitan society. Do you honestly believe just because YOU have a surname everyone else MUST have one? What arrogance to assume that everyone has to be just like you. Such a mentality reflects how unoriginal and insensitive you are. My name is Mohd Khairul Nashran. Ahmad Akhia is my FATHER'S name not MINE. It does not have to appear on my name tag, IC or any ridiculous document I have to sign, simply because that's not my name! It is not polite to call me Bin Ahmad, especially after I've told you how I preffered to be addressed. To me, it shows how ignorant and blind you are to cultures that is out of sync with your own. I don't have a surname, get used to it. Bitch! Nashran whined @» Wednesday, January 21, 2009 Just how important is my sexual preference with regards to my identity. If I were to ignore it, would I still be me? Is it that important to be me... If so how true true to me should I be? What if the real me is at odds with what those around me think I should be? All these questions and no answers... Nashran whined @» Tuesday, January 20, 2009 why must doctors make our work so hard.... men... Nashran whined @» Monday, January 19, 2009 I've been thinking and reflecting. I really have changed a lot, but on some fundamental level, I can see how I'm the same person. It's quite enlightening. This super adorable baby grabbed my finger in the train on the way home. My heart just melted... Nashran whined @» Friday, January 16, 2009 Do parents have a right to expect their kids to look after them when their older? I feel yes, but a few comments dropped by quite a few of my friends and acquaintances have shown me that I am more or less alone on that sentiment. I had a friend who has told his mother to hang herself should she ever be unable to look after herself. He was unable, and more importantly unwilling, to expand the money and time to look after an ailing parent. I wonder how his parents feel about using their hard earned money to raise him. I suppose I shouldn't be too shocked...I've met people who have abandoned the very family who raised them once they no longer are physically well. Pointing out this is a guy who, in his own words, is filthy rich. Of course the 7K a month wasn't enough to look after the person who has raised him since young. It's sad...he always struck me as a nice guy. I guess, thats part of the appeal of nursing for me. You get to love these people who have been thrown out by those who should be loving them. Nashran whined @» Wednesday, January 14, 2009 I realized, the skills most people like to showcase and brag about, are the ones they rarely have any great talent in. it would seem that empty vessels do make the most noise. hahahahaha Nashran whined @» Monday, January 12, 2009 I finally started work... It was good. =) Nashran whined @» Sunday, January 11, 2009 Pablo Neruda rocks... Wow...that is some writer. Nashran whined @» Saturday, January 10, 2009 Family... Interfering, nosy, judgemental, clingy. Yet I love them. Will the miracles of God never cease.... Nashran whined @» Friday, January 09, 2009 A little statistical update on the Gaza war. More than 763 Palestinians have been killed, including more than 200 children, since the Israeli offensive began on December 27. More than 3,121 people have also been wounded. Eight Israeli soldiers and three civilians have died in the same period. Tsk tsk. The International Committee for Red Cross has also claimed that Israel failed to render aid to wounded civilians and forcing away rescuers of a 4 children clinging to the corpse of their mother. Tsk tsk Nashran whined @» Thursday, January 08, 2009 It was nice meeting old friends again, it definitely was nice to know I'll be working in the same hospital as Charlene. God all the memories we shared when we were students, the nostalgia is making me tear... Nashran whined @» Wednesday, January 07, 2009 Gaza has become a warzone... I pray Allah protects the poor innocent children who again will suffer for the crimes and greed of those who don't even know or care about them. I hope that the God who could destroy towns just for commiting sodomy, has the sense of fairness to do something to child murderers. Zionist scum...a term I have religously avoided even thinking of up to now. I was always horriffied when my cousins use the term on Israel. Always I would sanctimoniously declare that it takes 2 hands to clap, that yes Israel wasn't doing the right thing, but neither were the so called "freedom-fighters" of Palestine. It seems peace is a long way from being achieved in the Middle East. Nashran whined @» Tuesday, January 06, 2009 Happy Birthday to me. So a little breakdown of my day I had a birthday breakfast with A**. She got me this really cute pink pencil case with the word Gorgeous printed on it, and she bought me cake. =) Blueberry cheesecake I then went on to my office to pick up my pay...not as much as I thought...but they wished me happy brthday so yay. I met Mademoiselle R***, who was in Singapore for today. We met up for cake! =D She is my cake date after all. The wonderful thing is she knew the patissier, who surprised me with a specially made strawberry shortcake... It was heaven... then I shopped, rushed home, cooked, cleaned and prepared for my little dinner party. It was nice, P**** made a lovely blackforest cake. My sister got me the Britney Circus album. Haiz...i love cake =) Nashran whined @» Sunday, January 04, 2009 What I wanna do this year 1) Get my own laptop. It has to be pink, and glitter would be a plus. 2) Go to Florence, Italy 3) Take up Italian 4) Get more dates 5) Buy a new phone Nashran whined @» Ok a little summary of the past few days. 1) Had date with guy (boring, the less said the better) 2) Had date with other guy. ( Got stood up, so again the less said the better) 3) Had date with yet another guy. ( No too bad ) 4) Friend got hospitalized. He'll be fine. 5) Grabbed boss' ass. ( It was a very nice ass =D ) 6) Board game summit. ( probably the most fun I've had in a while. ) 7) Befriended 14 year old stalker. ( really super creepy guy ) Now I'm off to sleep. Good night everybody Nashran whined @» Friday, January 02, 2009 sometimes, I read about whats happening in this world and I really do feel that religion is the opium of the masses. The rubbish some people do in the name of God is just shocking. However, at these times I am also reminded of how lost I would have been if it were not for God. Religion, excuse for heinous behavious or salvation for the world. Decisions decisions Nashran whined @» Thursday, January 01, 2009 haiz... yay 2009 just started. Sigh, just when I settled down with my issues and everything seems calm, fate decided to be a bitch and throw in several more... I really, really hate life sometimes... secrets...I'm all for it. A little intrigue makes life fun, but still some things are just ridiculous. T****, i am so telling her the first chance I get...it's just too good to keep to myself. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Nashran whined @» Wednesday, December 31, 2008 haiz...my love life seems to have transformed from bleak and lonely to too many roads and paths to walk..unfortunately none of them appeal to me right now...and truth be told...I'm just too tired to start dating. Cest la vie... Nashran whined @» Sunday, December 28, 2008 My feelings are a little torn... on the one hand i'm tempted to give in and agonise over him, but i don't want to waste my time. Dear All-mighty I am your humble slave. I accept whatever you throw in my life. I only ask that you look after him. Keep him safe from harm, let him know that he is loved. Let him find happiness, even with someone else. I don't want to wallow in self-pity too much... haiz... Nashran whined @» Saturday, December 27, 2008 I will be ok. I woke up this morning and realised I will be ok. Lol, thank God for friends... =) Nashran whined @» Friday, December 26, 2008 Pain, agony, heartache. I wished I had kept my mouth shut, but against all better judgement I told you anyway. Why do you have to be so nice...this would be easier if you were an asshole, if all my affections would just crystallise into this single burning anger that i could just give vent and be over with. But you're you, sweet, kind, gentle, compasionate...all the things about you that I love is now twisting my heart into this unfathomable knot.... Meanwhile, i have to smile and pretend that everythings ok. Nashran whined @» Thursday, December 25, 2008 Miracles.... people expect big miracles. Like the dead coming to life, diseases being cured. It's sad that they blind themselves to the little subtle things that God does to show them his majesty. There was a butterfly in my room when I woke up today. It was so pretty in black and yellow. It flew once around my room and flew out the window. Tiny little things everyday things are happening to show the wonders of God, and people still ask for miracles? I saw a sunrise 2 days ago.....That is miracle enough for me. =) Nashran whined @» Christmas Potluck was uneventful...lol Nashran whined @» Wednesday, December 24, 2008 So yes I promised to blog about a party but I never really got down to it...so yes heres a token entry because I loved his party so much. Budi threw an early christmas bash on Saturday the 20th. It was fun, the company was great, the food was delish and the hotel room was so comfy. Compared to some other parties, it was definitely the best I had this year. Ok Budi, stop being so insecure now. =P Nashran whined @» I have been feeling messed up lately, my mood swings are getting unpredictable, and all I can think about is how sucky my life is. On top of that the whole situation with my family, and this guy I'm into, and my shortage of money- Again, I see this trap of me, me, me, me. It's as if for some reason I am drawn to the not so nice portions of my life and I exaggerate them so that I can justify being miserable. Almost as if I want to be miserable. It's not nice to brutally honest with yourself, but if I want to reclaim me, i guess i better start. I have many, many things to be happy about. Amazing friends, a loving family, a second family who are just as close. Also I realize despite everything I thought I had lost, I can never say that I cannot feel God's presence in my life... There are things I want to do, and moping around sulking will not help me achieve it. Nashran whined @» Tuesday, December 23, 2008 I met this crazy stalkerish guy, who demanded my handphone number after just 2 games of dota and one msn conversation. Scary thing is, he's only 14... What is the world coming to.... Nashran whined @» Sunday, December 21, 2008 Aishah wedding was nice. She looked gorgeous in her gown. I only wished that I saw the rest of my classmates. ah well. I couldn't possible let Mary-Anne go alone can I. Nashran whined @» Saturday, December 20, 2008 Sighz.... Reading notes, preparing for my Basic Cardiac Life Support re-certification. I'm feeling damn nervous... I went to the beach at about 2-ish in the morning (I think). Originally I intended to just sit and clear my thoughts, maybe watch the sun rise. Sadly the lack of sleep i've been experiencing caught up, and I feel asleep on the tidebreaker. Needless to say, I didn't see the sun rise....=( On a bright note, I met this super nice old lady. She woke me up and set down next to me. it was just so funny how despite the generation gap we got along so well. She didn't speak english o I had to communicate to her in malay. I might have found a kindred spirit....hahahaha Nashran whined @» I've always adored the little mermaid. The tragic tale of a mermaid who gave up her voice just to be with man she loves is just heartwrenching. Even worse she meets him and is unable to tell him of her true feelings. Men being the dense pigs that they are, need everything spelled out for them. Ultimately, she had to pay the ultimate sacrifice for her love. Throughout this tale, the fool man never notices or even return her love for him. I've always identified with this story, I've always felt that true love will never be mine in this lifetime. It just is not the path that I will be coming across. Painful considering thats my only desire. To find my one true love... Nashran whined @» Friday, December 19, 2008 Family is the last group of people you would expect to turn on you. When they do, it just hurts so bad... Especially my family, which has always been close. "Nashran is a useless, lazy, faggot." "Too lazy to go out and too inconsiderate to stay home and look after his grandmother" "Maybe if he was more manly, people might take him seriously" This from people who can't be bothered to look after their own mother? Who expects 2 students, and one recently ORDed, still struggling personnel to somehow cope and deal with one elderly lady. Lets not even mention the son who is too cheap to call and ask about his mother's health. Whats the point of all your money Mr Businessman when you can't even spare a cent for your mother? you honestly are fine with letting 3 kids look after the woman who squeezed your miserable life out? You call yourself a man?!?! I refuse to be judge by inferiors. I refuse to be found morally repugnant by group of morally bankrupt, vain, and vapid henwits. Their not all like that, in truth I love my aunts, they've done what they thought was for my own good. I cannot expect anything more. Which is why it hurt even more.... Nashran whined @» Thursday, December 18, 2008 I just finished a dinner party with a few friends. It's was nice seeing them again, they liked my cooking, and we talked for like hours...hahaha. At any rate, I was checking my Deviant art account, it's here, and I realized of all the pieces that I did, the only ones that seem to draw people are those that are emo. All the pieces that revolve around pain, suffering, solitude, etc are well liked. The more intellectual types, that look at sociopolitical issues, nature, etc are largely ignored. I wonder if it's because artists tend to suffer for their craft and as such they delight in seeing someone in as much (if not more) pain then they are? ah well. Nashran whined @» Wednesday, December 17, 2008 I was watching Victoria's Secret fashion Show 2008. Truth be told, I really lost interest in it when Tyra left, but then I saw this-  I like!!!! I like!!! I want the wings!!!! AGH!!!!!! I'm not that big a fan of Heidi, but this walk....I lurve...lol Yes I'm rendered incoherent by my love. Nashran whined @» Tuesday, December 16, 2008 I feel greatly relieved but at the same time pressured. I got a job a offer from CGH, but I have to pay $100 for my BCLS re-certification first. I am so tired of trying to squeeze money from somewhere.... Oh well, I'll just make do. =) Nashran whined @» Saturday, December 13, 2008 I had a friend from a while back. We were pretty close; I was always at his place for CNY, Christmas. I was even pretty close to his family. Odd now that thinking back I realise I miss his grandmother and Aunt Cindy more than I miss him. lol, strange the way the world works. Nashran whined @» Friday, December 12, 2008 Boredom.... I feel bored and stale.... I feel this energy that needs an outlet but fo some reason everything seems to be stuck. I keep coming against this dead end with everything I do. I'm so restless nowadays I can't even sleep anymore it's crazy Nashran whined @» Wednesday, December 10, 2008 Hui Mian!! Love you so much!!! hahahaha I met a friend yesterday, yes the one mentioned above, and she reminded why I went into nursing. I didn't even know I needed the reminder. I was feeeling all down and defeated, and I was wondering and doubting if nursing really was the path for me to go. Yes I know I could have dowsed the answer I needed or used the tarot, but my divination was drawing blanks lately and I realise it's because I've lost sight of the why. I went into nursing to help, to at the very least in some small way, make someone's life a little better. It was not to pay bills, or make money or buy a new Prada bag. ( Although that would be nice) So now I've rediscovered my destination, all I have to do is work towards it. =) Nashran whined @» Saturday, December 06, 2008 Someone approached me for help on a little project. It sounds interesting, and like a lot of fun. Although from a financial standpoint, it doesn't seem to fit into what I'm looking for. I will see what happens. I've told the guy yes, that I'd be happy to work for him. Maybe a I was a tad too rash... hahahaha oh well Nashran whined @» Friday, December 05, 2008 sighz I just found out through first hand experience, that creating an astral temple is hard work. So much for just "daydreaming." At least I got it done. =) I finally got a job. When I first got told of the event, I was relieved and a little happy to know that God had not quite forsaken me yet. Athough, this might sound irresponsible, I don't want it. When I got called down for the interview i had this feeling that something was wrong, that this job was wrong for me. I squished it, and smiled throughout the interview, despite the fact that I found the man to be boorish, uneducated, and a little insensitive to the spiritual needs of his staff. Although I must say most atheist generally are. That aside, my gut feeling is telling me that this job is so wrong for me on so many levels. I feel a little confused. I really need a source of income, and so many people are expecting me to get one. However this great sense of reluctance and foreboding keeps coming up when I think about it. The HR department will only call me next week, so I guess I have the weekend to think about it. Ah well.... we'll see how it goes. Nashran whined @» Tuesday, December 02, 2008 I took a breather today. Just sat down, turned off my phone, relaxed and basically took nice look at myself. I must say, I was shocked at what I found. All the anxiety, insecurities and fear I was feeling, on top of this desperate need for money... It just isn't me. I think when I went into NS, a little of the brainwashing might have stuck, forcing me to think in the manner of mainstream society. Regardless, I have decided to do what I have always done and trust God. I know I don't strike anyone as the pious sort, (can't imagine why) but in all my life, if I were to be truly honest, He has never let me down. You'd think i should know better by now. Ahh well...better late than never Nashran whined @» So I can't work as nurse for the rest of the year. I'm sure it'll be better next year. My license will definitely come through and i can start being a kick-ass nurse. I'm very sure all I need to do is wait this one month before I embark on the rest of my life. Meanwhile, I'll work as something else. The experience will be good, and I will grow and be the better for it. I know I can do this. Nashran whined @» Sunday, November 30, 2008 Experience. Every single potential employer seem to bring up that particular deficit of mine. I know I lack experience, but can you blame me? I have not worked in a clinical setting. How can I be expected to gain some experience if you don't hire me. Even worse are those who then condescendingly advice me to get some. If that's the sum of their wise advice, then I must say they are definitely no Solomon. I know I can be a good nurse, screw that, I know I can be an amazing nurse. My time as a student nurse has shown me that I can of enormous help to patients. I know what I can do. However no one seems to be able to see past my lack of experience. Are all employers so shallow? Nashran whined @» Saturday, November 29, 2008 I've had a few memorable interviews over the past couple of days. Sadly still jobless though. However for the sake of preserving these "treasured" memories, I thought I'd share them with you. Interview 1- I received an email informing me that a hospital is looking to hire a staff nurse. Lets call it Random A Hospital(RAH). Immediately I jumped at the chance and gave the mentioned institute a call. The lady eagerly told me to come down for an interview. I went all the way there only to be met with an incredulous, "I thought you were a she?! You're voice sounded like a woman." I got rejected in a manner that wasn't even grammatically accurate. How demoralisaing. Interview 2- This was at a clinic in town. The person who interviewed me was a 40-ish bony, pinch-faced lady whose attempts at make-up was less than stellar. Whilst shaking her hand I noticed she wasn't wearing any rings, which led me to the conclusion she was single. Looking like that I wasn't surprised. She quoted me an insultingly low salary and when I protested she then had the cheek to say, "Beggars can't be choosers." I then went on to explain to her the difference between a beggar and a job applicant. Naturally, along the way I gave her advice on how to improve her PR skills as well as some makeup tips. Needless to say I didn't get the job. These were 2 interviews that burn quite fiercely in my mind. Truth be told, I'm still seething from it. Both instances required I walk all the way back home due to a shortage of funds. Quite the figurative cherry on the sundae. Ah well, what can I do but wait, hope and pray. Nashran whined @» Thursday, November 27, 2008 wow... within this week i was told of 4 different break-ups... Makes me glad i'm single... lol  What type of Fae are you? Nashran whined @» Wednesday, November 26, 2008 lalala Do I love you? Yes, but I can get over it. If you can pick up love u can put it down. I'm fine with friends. what a wonderful day... Nashran whined @» Tuesday, November 25, 2008 Sighz... Today I walked from Wheelock Place, Borders all the way home to Pasir Ris. The journey was about 6 hours... I don't ever want to do that again, but i think on friday night, i might have to... sighz... Nashran whined @» Sunday, November 23, 2008 Again the pretentions of some people amaze me. I wonder why.... It's quite mean of me to snigger at him behind his back...however boys being boys, they all have this exceedingly fragile egoes... It's difficult to for me to be my usual frank self with that idiot... ah well Nashran whined @» Saturday, November 22, 2008 7 people called me and asked me about the mob excercise.... It really stirred this sense of nostalgia within me as it was so typical of life within camp when was there. I miss being the reigning Queen of Sembawang. I miss having a group of guys to play with and who more or else come to me for every single administrative problem they had... lol Ah well The Queen is dead... Nashran whined @» Friday, November 21, 2008 I met Huimian today =) It was nice seeing her again after all this time. Met a friend of hers as well, he's quite funny. lol Pity we had to go home... Nashran whined @» Tuesday, November 18, 2008 i want new shoes.... sighz... I had my last trail today... So here's to hoping that I find something to do with my time. lol Nashran whined @» Sunday, November 16, 2008 I love colours. It's painful for me to talk to you and smile when you mention him. I'm happy that your happy but, I 'm heartbroken that your not with me. I know I'll get over it, I know I will meet someone else. That you'll one day be a memory that I'll muse over and laugh at. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm hurting now. Nashran whined @» Friday, November 07, 2008 I cannot cope. I'm not someone who takes to responsibility very well. I can commit, I can help, but I CANNOT BEAR CARRYING THE WEIGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY. I'd like to talk to someone about it, but i cannot seem to articulate all the insecurities that plague me. Also from what I see i doubt it's a situation that most of my friends can empathise with. I don't want to wake up every morning wondering when I can get a job. i don't want to look at my family and feel that their depending on me for something. I'd especially like to shut out the image of my grandmother tripping when she tried to alight from the bus. The reminder that I couldn't afford a miserable cab ride is just painful. I hate this feeling that my best is not enough. Nashran whined @» Sunday, November 02, 2008 Something happened. Something wonderful... I'm happy for him, I really am. I'm glad he met someone to love and cherish and who loves and cherishes him back. I meant every word when I wished him well, and hoped the 2 of them will be happy. Even if the person wasn't me and each word twisted in my heart and caused it to fragment into smaller pieces.... Nashran whined @» Why is it a horrible sin for a woman to cut her hair short? And how is a man qualified to judge what is feminine and what is not? Sometimes I really feel that religion is the opium of the masses. Nashran whined @» Friday, October 31, 2008 musicals... haiz... anywayz, What do u do if u have a friend which nobody else seems to like... ah well. I need a nice feel good movie... Nashran whined @» Monday, October 27, 2008 I had an open house over the weekend. Saturday's turnout was great, as expected. the friends i invited came and those who didn't informed me early in the morning. Sunday wasn't a dissapointment,why? because i expected no shows. I mainly invited my friends from my unit and their generally an unreliable bunch, so when most of them didn't turn up, and worse still didn't bother to inform me they weren't coming, I took it in stride... Army men being naturally unreliable and inconsiderate, I prepared myself for a poor turn out and I wasn't exactly dissapointed. I 'm glad that those who did come were there of course. My RPs as usuall didn't dissapoint, they all made it. Quite unlike the guys in my branch, after all their assurances and promises that they'll be there, not a single one of them turned up. oh well, as I am a firm believer that what goes round comes around I'm fairly certain, that they will get their just desserts come their ord time. -evil grin- At any rate for those who turned up, thank you. I enjoyed having all of you around. Nashran whined @» Saturday, October 18, 2008 I miss Hui Mian.... haiz... I wish i could study overseas... Nashran whined @» Thursday, October 02, 2008 First day of raya was relatively unprofitable... I know its not about the money, but it doesn't stop me from wishing i could get some... lol. Truth be told, it doesn't feel like Hari Raya, this whole year all celebrations and festive seasons seem to have passed by me without the usual anticipation and excitement that I always seem to have. I wonder if I'm growing old? Scary thought, one day I just might worry about nonsense like being "respectable" and "normal". Even worse, I might stop believing in faeries... -shudder- Hope it doesn't happens...The last thing I want is to look at myself and see me as an informed consumer with the spending power to make this money driven world go round. All that money for 16 cars but not eough to save a tree... I pray I never end up so blind or pathetic. Anyway as Hari raya is a muslim festival, I thought I'd quote a little muslim story.... On the 27th night of Ramadhan, a man by the name of Muhammed (pbuh) was in a cave on Mount Hira on the outskirts of the city of Mecca. Many a times he has been up to this cave to contemplate the problems of his people, the Arabs. So heinous and debauched were his brethren that Gibbon, a master historian, wrote down in his book "Decline of the Roman Empire"- "The human brute (The Arabs), almost without sense, is poorly distinguished from the rest of animal creation." Many a times has Muhammed (pbuh) retired to this quite place to meditate on a solution. Usually alone, sometimes with his beloved wife, Khadijah-tul-Kubra, a woman we now call Umm-ul-Mo'mineen (Mother of the Faithful). At any rate, on that night- the night of Lailatul Qadr (The night of Power and Excellence)- this recluse was alone in the aforementioned cave again yearning for an answer for the problems plaguing his tribe. It was then in the middle of this holy night did Gabriel, the angel of God appear before him and commanded him in his mother tongue, "Iqra!" which means read, recite, repeat or proclaim aloud. Muhammed (pbuh) was terrified and completely at a loss of what to do. In fear he replied, " Maa-ana-beqaa-Ri'in!" "I am not learned!" The angel embraced him and repeats the command "Iqra!" again Muhammed (pbuh) replied, "Maa-ana-beqaa-Ri'in!" Again the angel embraced him hard and repeats his command "Iqra! Bismi-rab-bikal-lazii-khalak" "Read! In the name of thy Lord and Cherisher Who created." Following the above first verse of Sura Al-Alaq (Chapter 96 0f the Holy Quran) Muhammed (pbuh) then realized that he was asked to repeat or recite what was being revealed to him! So it came to pass that the first majestic verses of the Divine Al-Quran was released to Muhammed (pbuh) the Holy Prophet of Islam. Thanks to Sheikh Ahmad Deedat and Gibbon for materials and translations. Theres another book I used as well, but the Authors named was missing, so thank you whoever you are. And of course thanks to the Holy Quran forproviding that particular text. Nashran whined @» Wednesday, October 01, 2008 Selamat Hari Raya Everyone!!! In this time of celebration and forgiveness, I humbly beg pardon for any unintentional offence I've given to all or any of you. I know I'm too pretty, smart, wise, witty, gorgeous, gregarious, humble, perfect, wonderful, intelligent, trustworthy, innocent, tall, kind, generous, altruistic and friendly for everyone to handle. I can't help it, God make me flawless. Please don't hate me. -grinz- Nashran whined @» Saturday, September 27, 2008 I realize half the thing being sold at stores are useless. What is the use of a traffic cone to the layman? We are such a consumerist society that nearly everything we do, say or think has money as it's motivation. What's sad is when religion gets involved in it as well. It really makes you re-examine the respectability of these spiritual organizations when their so engrossed with material gain. Nashran whined @» Thursday, September 25, 2008 Agh!!!! Ok I only have less than 4 weeks to go!!!! Soon I will be free.... Shouldn't I be happy? I am in a way, but there's something not quite fulfilled. Oh...Here's a song I'm listening to, it's a translation of the original japanese lyrics but too lazy to the needed thingus to upload that. It's called "Return to the sea" Not sure who sang it, but it closely reflects my mood right now The last page of the fairytale story is rewritten, changed into a tragedy. Even the heart of the only person who believed is lost, as if love and dreams were nothing more than a sandcastle, fragile, short-lived, empty, broken, deceased. I never wished for that. But even so, even now, I can't forget the melody you always sang. It vibrates in my chest, and I feel as if I can return. To that time surely, surely I will return. Shake off the chains that bind me, toward the blue ocean of the two connected worlds-- Absolutely! Only love can overcome everything. The constellation decided by fate can even be changed. Disappear! The cowardly lie, and the present, too... yah it doesn't rhyme, whatever, but like I said it's a translation...the original sounds pretty good. I'd like to say something about the melamine rubbish and the upcoming first ever pro-gay speech at Speaker's Corner, assuming they actually allow it, but can't really be bothered. Although about the latter I will say, it's about time =) Nashran whined @» Wednesday, August 20, 2008 2 more months!!!! Oh my God!!!! It's coming so close I can't stand the wait. Like a wanderer lost in a desert, I've just glimpsed an oasis up ahead. I'm trying so hard to keep myself calm and collected, but 2 years of slavery and service is nearly over and I just feel like cartwheeling... If my ass weren't so fat I just might. I'm trying to not step on toes and slack off on my workload, but it's so hard. What I've always felt was my responsibility to do and excel in now feels like a meaningless burden. Something trivial and inconsequential that hardly matters. My superiors will not be pleased, but hey O-R-D!!!!! WHEE!!!!! Nashran whined @» Saturday, August 16, 2008 Here a very lovely haiku You are not the man I always dreamed I would love Just the man I do I forgot who wrote this, but it lovely and the last line has more than one meaning. =P Nashran whined @» Thursday, August 14, 2008 I find it despicable that grown men could somehow "accidentally" kill children in a targeted killing. Or was a 1 year old infant their target to begin with? These kids were so young, where is the justice that they should be killed but their murderers walk free. Worse still the lack of international condemnation. I feel sick thinking about it. Masad Ahmad Eid Hassan abu-Metiq, 1, of Beit Hanoun, Gaza, killed, with his mother, brother and two sisters, by shrapnel from an IDF missile while eating breakfast in his home during a targeted killing. Hana Ahmad Eid Hassan abu-Metiq, 3, of Beit Hanoun, Gaza, killed, with her mother, sister and two brothers, by shrapnel from an IDF missile while eating breakfast in her home during a targeted killing. Rudeina Ahmad Eid Hassan abu-Metiq, 4, of Beit Hanoun, Gaza, killed, with her mother, sister and two brothers, by shrapnel from an IDF missile while eating breakfast in her home during a targeted killing. Saleh Ahmad Eid Hassan abu-Metiq, 5, of Beit Hanoun, Gaza, killed, with his mother, brother and two sisters, by shrapnel from an IDF missile while eating breakfast in his home during a targeted killing. Nashran whined @» |